grupoavigase.com/includes/139/7113-buscar-mujeres.php My current girlfriend is beautiful, smart, and generous. One day I was at my buddies house and his wife was putting on this princess act, like he had to be her servant. It made me realize that my girl was rare and a catch and that I wanted to lock that down. I want to be in my own space. We would stay in bed for a long time and just talk and laugh. She was kind of acting like a girlfriend already, and I liked it, so I went with it.
I had a health scare.
I Can't Just Be Your Hookup Buddy Anymore I don't want to ignore my feelings just to make you happy. It's my future boyfriend and I'm so ready for him. How do tell him I don't want to fuck him anymore? Saying straight up that I . We' re not going to hook up anymore." And he would probably say.
There was no difference for me. Finally, she ended it because she wanted to focus on finding someone who wanted more. One girl I was seeing really had her life together — she was classy, she owned a home on her own and was responsible with her life. She always listened when I talked about my day instead of having that glazed over look. It was nice to have someone really care a lot about me, even the boring stuff. She was the first girl I really wanted more from.
She was wife material. For me it was when I met her coworkers. Just tell him you aren't finding the relationship to be what you want. He can't argue with that. If all you have been doing is getting together to have sex, I would recommend a cooling off period where you don't see each other at all. Obviously, if you haven't established any serious connection outside of sex, this may make it impossible to reconnect later, but it will help "reset" the relationship so you can define it as something other than sex.
Otherwise, habits will get in the way, most likely on his side, but perhaps on yours. OP, are you capable of being friends with this guy, or do you just want him for what he can do for you? What are you prepared to give? My opinion is that it would be easier on him if you just left him alone and moved on. I am not a guy, I don't know this guy. Yeah, it's just sex, but it's sex with a not-so-confident man who confided in you about his insecurities.
Also, you're the first person he's had sex with in years. That's kind of a big deal. However, he's not your boyfriend.
Be considerate and appreciative and complimentary, if you can be these things sincerely. Don't even imply that his attractiveness is an issue.
I'm not sure an offer of friendship would be wise. By my possibly flawed logic, ending things politely but firmly says you've had fun with him, but only wanted something casual, and are sticking to your guns. Rejecting the sex but trying to keep the friendship says what you're already trying not to say: For someone coming off a long period of celibacy -- which sounds like it might not have been voluntary -- it seems like this could really sting.
If you do want to try friendship, I'd frame it more as an offer to get together for coffee again some time down the road, if he'd like that, once you've had some time apart. Let him have this experience as something good that ran its natural course and hopefully a reason to feel more sexually confident , rather than downgrading him from lover to friend. FYI, in my experience, nice guys who lack in confidence rarely lack the company of women who want to be just friends. If he hasn't gotten any in years, this is going to be very tough to do. If you do want to be friends with him, it's going to be best if it's not immediate.
If he had other options, it might very well work to just say "hey, I've decided that I'm not into casual sex for now.
We're not going to hook up anymore. I'd be willing to bet that a guy for whom "it's been years since he's been with someone" is not going to let go so easily. He's still going to see you as his best option for quite a while and the best case scenario is that he'll always be trying it on with you.
Worst-case is a lot of jealousy and drama. I think you need to cut and run, at least for the short-term-- tell him it's been a lot of fun, but you're not looking for a relationship and that the casual sex is "wearing on you" or something ambiguous like that that isn't a lie but isn't specific.
Tell him that you really want to be platonic friends with him at some point, but you need a break. Stop all contact for at least a couple of months. When things have gone completely cold and it feels right, contact him again and make plans.
You'll know right away whether he can handle this the next time you see him. If he's cool, keep being friends. If he's trying to get intimate, just walk away. This sounds cold, but I'm confident that someone who has had a couple years of involuntary celibacy is not going to just give up regular, casual sex without a struggle. But you must not feel bad about it, because I'm willing to bet that your time together has made his outlook better than its been in years and that's quite a gift. According to "a friend" who successfully did something similar recently, a acknowledge that you're having fun and enjoying the companionship, b acknowledge that it's "not serious" in whatever sense you two understand it it's very important that you're both on the same page about this not becoming a relationship , and c let him know that the physical entanglement, while enjoyable, has complicated mental and emotional associations for you that you need to stop and clear your head.
Do NOT use the word "rebound. The two parties are still pals. Enh, it doesn't read that way to all guys flutable. I see what you are saying, and depending on the situation, I might read it that way, but also maybe not. I think DavidAndConquer has it right - it's direct, respectful, and avoids awkward words like "de-intensify" that are well-meaning, but seem like euphemisms, and come across a little disingenuous even if they are sincerely meant.
So if the OP's FB reads it as flutable expects, then his response will be "no I don't want to be friends", and that is a totally and acceptable outcome, with no one on either side being confused or too badly bruised. Basically, OP, you can't make him your friend. You can only offer, and see if he accepts.
And I also second jnnla - you are not the guardian of his self-esteem. Don't be a jerk, but don't be confusing, and trust that he will be an adult about it. You don't get anything out of a friendship? Be polite and nice, but be direct about what you want. I liked the phrasing in the first two answers above, where you say that it isn't working for you and you want to deescalate the physical stuff.
But do be careful to be sufficiently clear that it doesn't appear that you are leading him on by suggesting that you want to go from fuckbuddies to friends as a prelude to really dating. I think it's likely that he already had all the friends he needed and that after this bout of casual sex has ended he'll be content to go back to them.
I may be from an older, more out of touch generation but I've found that the, "I'd still like you as a friend" line rings pretty hollow when you're being dumped. It wont work, just cut him loose and be clear about why so he doesnt get the wrong idea. DavidandConquer, the breakup comment you're thinking of is mine.