source url Conversely, they may not take your existing knowledge into consideration. They usually have an obsessive, consuming interest in one subject, to the exclusion of others.
You still might disagree with their actions and feel hurt. Catfishing; Avoid this Fishy and Catchy Addiction. A diagnosis of AS includes social impairments, such as: Still others silently pray or say phrases to reduce anxiety or prevent a dreaded future event while others will put objects in a certain order or arrange things perfects in order to reduce discomfort. The first and most important model of what to expect from a relationship come from what we experienced early in life. When they hear a difference of opinion or an attempt to explain a different perspective about a situation, they become defensive because they see it as conflict, or a criticism of who they are. They may exhibit overly formal manners and politeness.
A celebrity or even YOU could become their special interest and experience unwanted attention, harassment or stalking. They come across as arrogant.
To us, such phrases immediately convey the general idea intended. A person with AS may hide his confusion by staying silent, laughing along with you or in some way pretending to understand.
Their thinking is concrete. They have difficulty in generalizing. When they hear a difference of opinion or an attempt to explain a different perspective about a situation, they become defensive because they see it as conflict, or a criticism of who they are. They can become quite defensive when asked for clarification or a little sympathy. The defensiveness can turn into verbal abuse as the man with AS attempts to control the communication to suit his view of the world.
They are prone to ruminating or fixating on bad experiences with people or events for an inordinate length of time. They often have a very difficult time hearing the negative emotions of others. They may refuse to communicate, and then lash out in a very hurtful way later on. They are always right. They will frequently say that you are being irrational or illogical. They misinterpret the experiences, feelings and ideas of others, and therefore come to the wrong conclusions. You often find their behavior exasperating or even infuriating. This is the main thing that frustrates partners of people with AS.
They have poor impulse control and easily become frustrated and angry.
Understanding why you chose a man with Asperger's is the key to resolving your relationship troubles. When I started dating at 18 I had NO idea how to talk to people, let alone women. Many of the people I dated had good intents, but they may not.
They may not enjoy kissing or physical affection. Although we may not realize it because it comes naturally to us, merging requires a great deal of non-verbal communication between drivers. It is often other drivers on the road who avert potential disasters with Aspies. They follow rigid routines and get very frustrated and upset if those routines are interrupted.
They may not be able to tolerate the labels in their clothing or the seams in their socks, or the barely perceptible hum of a refrigerator.
They are often unable to tolerate a new pair of shoes, preferring to wear the same ones over and over. They are physically clumsy. Some may have problems with manual dexterity. They are hurtfully blunt and casually critical.
This behavior comes across as insulting and hurtful. A man with AS may display unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact or eye contact that is too intense, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures. They may exhibit overly formal manners and politeness. They may not be able to recognize a potentially dangerous neighborhood, location or situation.
He refused to change this habit despite the fear she expressed. They may rely heavily on rules, following them to the letter. They can become very upset at being just a few minutes late for anything, even if the circumstances are beyond there control. Being late causes them extreme stress. Another made his date abandon a barely touched restaurant meal because they had tickets to see a band that he liked.
Although they may first appear to be highly intelligent, you will notice that their knowledge is restricted to a few narrow subjects and is quite lacking in a general sense. Their reputation of being highly intelligent is a myth. What are you, a victim? Conversely, they may continue to pursue you long past what would be considered normal.
You may become very uncomfortable and tell them that you do not want any further contact in any form, but they will keep contacting and pursuing you. To quote Russell again: Originally published on Identities. Matt Rozsa is a Ph. His website is matthewrozsa. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. By far the hardest thing for me to deal with is his inability to be flirtatious. He takes everything I say absolutely literally.
And he only says exactly what he means. First Name Last Name. Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free. Please Login to comment. Facebook Tweet Pin 4 Email Shares Join The Good Men Project conversation and get updates by email. Subscribe to our mailing list: